Technology for Country Folk
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In this day and age, we often forget that not everyone grew up with technology, so here to help bridge the gap, I present "Technology for Country Folk"
Now I wish I could take credit for coming up with this, but it came to me on one of those infamous email joke lists that we all circulate, and the original author was not identified.  However, I recently received an email indicating that this is from The Backwoods Guide to Computer Lingo by Dave Nilsen.  I've also received an email indicating that the illustrations were created by Dennis Cox at DJArt & Design (www.djart.com).  
LOG ON:

Making a wood stove hot		 LOG OFF:

Too much wood on fire
MONITOR:

Keep'n an eye on the wood stove 		DOWN LOAD:

Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ:


When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood

FLOPPY DISC:

Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
RAM:

That thar thang what splits the farwood 		HARD DRIVE:

Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS:

Whut to shut when its cold outside		 SCREEN:

Whut to shut when its black fly season
BYTE:

Whut dem dang flys do 		CHIP:

Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP:

Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

MODEM:

Whatcha do to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX:

Ole Dan Matrix's wife 		LAP TOP:

Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD:

Whar you hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE:

Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE:

What eats the grain in the barn 		MOUSE PAD:




That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

MAINFRAME:

Holds up the barn roof 		PORT:

Fancy flatlander wine

ENTER:

Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"

CLICK:

Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
DOUBLE CLICK:

When you cock the double barrel		 REBOOT:

Whut you have to do right before bedtime
when you have to go to the outhouse
Contributed by Ron Haukenfrers
Last Modified: April 09, 2004